I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
