you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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