i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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