You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
