I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
