The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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