also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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