If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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