why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
