My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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