Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
