Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Did I show you my penis last night?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Holy shit dude........stairs
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
