the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
