So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
