So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
