somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
