drinking out of a sandbucket again
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
