Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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