you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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