So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
