It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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