bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
