they need to just BURY HIM!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
