im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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