so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
