I feel great
I just peed on a car
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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