Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So vagazzling was a success
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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