I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
