all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
