So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
