ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
