The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I will pee on everything he values.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
