A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
