If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
