I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
