dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
