I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
