He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
