Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
