question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
