He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
