So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
