Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
there was a trapeze. enough said
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
