Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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