I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
