We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
