Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Who died my cat blue again?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
