U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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