Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The cops high fived after they tackled you
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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