I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
