he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize