1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my shit smells like andre
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
