Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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