Do you still have your period?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He felt like a one man threesome
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
