we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
