Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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