Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
