So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
