Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
