at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
