im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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