giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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