I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
