She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
