Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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