I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
