hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
