Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
