No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
