just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
