Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
